examples of condescending behavior at work

Both words and behaviors communicate the fact that the condescending person thinks they're better, smarter, and more successful than other people. No one wins with this attitude not even the condescending person. In most cases, the common minority group responses to prejudice include avoidance, deviance, defiance, and acceptance. Chances are they haven't actually weighed the likelihood that you do or don't know what they're explaining-they just know that they know it, and that's enough reason for them to expound. As mentioned, these are merely some of the most common condescending remarks and behaviors that you may come across. JANE: Maybe he didn't practice his presentation enough? The most effective tool for dealing with condescending employees is calling out their behavior if you see it. They believe they are perfect One common problem with condescending people is that they think they are perfect and hold everyone to this benchmark. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Were committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. It is important to respond in a non-emotional, neutral, matter-of-fact way. Heres an example in which a manager may call a subordinate into the office to give them some feedback: Hey champ! Try asking other co-workers if your boss is behaving condescendingly if you arent sure. Whereas, if you were to say, "I've noticed you've been late a lot recently," or "It's been a while since you cleaned the toilet," the person you're criticizing will still probably get defensive, but they won't feel like you're suggesting they're fundamentally flawed or bringing down the gavel on their entire personality with your belittling comments. You did something smart, and I never expected that from you!" MANAGER: Could you've helped Jack in another way to give correct information? After all, theyre so knowledgeable about the topic, why wouldnt everyone be delighted to know what the right course of action should be? Lets have this conversation at another time. You might want to set up a face-to-face meeting to address the issue, with a supervisor there as a mediator. To demean someone is to insult them. The good news is that even if you feel powerless, you really arent. She was tired of the condescending tone he took when he discussed her fitness routine. It is very difficult to respond to patronising comments. Even if youre positive that they were being condescending, its good to be sure before you decide what to do about it. Whether you're talking about how Jack Dorsey was at your yoga retreat last weekend, or how you're on a first-name basis with Chrissy Teigen's sister's husband, you're always going to come across as seeming like you think famous people are pretty important. The definition of condescending is to demonstrate feelings of superiority over another person. When You Assume You Know Everything There's absolutely nothing. "I actually like that idea" When you say this, it can land like a patronizing backhanded compliment. Examples of Condescending Remarks You might notice condescending speech and behavior in someone like this. By understanding the different types of workplace behaviors employees may have, managers can help their teams increase performance and complete work tasks more effectively. Synonyms: condescending, superior, stooping, lofty More Synonyms of patronizing. What to do if your boss belittles you in front of others? They might not even be aware they were doing it. Still, if you've been told you have a condescending streak, here are some eye-roll-worthy behaviors to discontinue. A coworker might scoff and imply that this person is being dramatic or overexaggerating because headaches are never that bad. Basically, its negative or critical feedback sandwiched between two compliments. If the belittling behaviour continues, however, its best to seek advice from a supervisor or another HR professional. Read our privacy policy for more information. Its HR that needs the lessons dispensed to, not the other way around which is the problem. You are giving them a positive way to view the situation while letting them know they are not above doing the tasks you ask of them. Saying: "You NEVER do this." "You ALWAYS do this." "I'm sorry you feel that way." "You need to calm down." "Take it easy!" It doesn't come cloaked in kindness. Going to HR may seem extreme, but if youve tried everything else, it may be your only option. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Rather than approaching the conversation in a combative way, use the conversation as an opportunity to educate your boss about how you prefer to be addressed in a professional environment. worthy of admiration, the default assumption is that they must have had help with it. Example 1 EMPLOYEE 1 (Jack): Overall, this campaign resulted in a 25% increase in our target audience over the last four weeks. A subtle form of bullying, being patronised can leave you feeling infuriated and impotent. When you make broad generalizations about someone else's behavior, that's a condescending way to make them feel judged and misunderstood. supervisor evaluation letter . First, talk to your boss as an individual. Negative Punishment is the act of removing a stimulus to remove a certain behavior. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Whatever you do, don't storm off or get angry. Related: 25 Words That Make Other People Feel Inferior. If theyve done something thats (actually!) (The Truth), Empaths In Relationships: 15 Tips For Happy And Healthy Love, Copyright A Conscious Rethink. They might be acting completely calmly and rationally, but are basically being toldalbeit indirectlyto shut up because theyre embarrassing themselves and everyone else. 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Whether you're having a casual conversation or trying to offer meaningful feedback, the person you're talking to is way more likely to shut down and react defensively if you claim they "always" or "never" do something. And honestly, there's not much difference between 25 and 27 percent. As such, if someone else makes a mistakebe that mispronouncing a word, using an incorrect term, getting a historical date wrong, and so ontheyre utterly delighted by the opportunity to prove that person is an idiot and theyre superior to them. If you offer a solution to a problem in a meeting, and someone says, "Hey, that's actually a pretty good idea," it sounds as if they're surprised by your intelligent contribution, and they generally expect little of you. EMPLOYEE 2 (Jane): Has been the best yet, they mentioned that the magazine advertisement really intrigued them and thats the part of the project that I did! Every workplace contains a wide variety of people who behave in different ways. (Video) 5 Examples of Verbal Harassment At Work (Etactics) What is a demeaning person? Once they are no longer the center of attention, you can say, discreetly, "Do you say debut "dee-butt?' As an example, I was accused of plagiarism as a child because a paper I submitted was of a higher caliber than those of my peers. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Secondly, its a dominance thing. Copyright @ Australian HR Institute. The employee who disregards training and basic tasks because "he already knows." We have unskilled pencil pushers who think they are completely untouchableuntil they find out they are. There is no faster way to break someone's momentum or crater their confidence than to interrupt and say, "Um, it's actually "essss-presso,' not "ex-presso.'" You can set a great example for some of your newer co-workers with your knowledge. That person might speak 10 languages, but if they mispronounced a single word, theyll be considered stupid by a condescending native speaker. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. So, first off, you did an AMAZING job leading the board meeting this afternooneveryone loved what you had to say. Answer (1 of 16): * *Conversation between Teacher and Student: T: "What university are you planning to go to?" S: "Well, I've applied to [insert top three universities in the country]. The employee who cuts you or their co-workers off. For example, examples of condescending behavior may include telling you to dress, eat, speak or walk in a particular manner. Use it to try out great new products and services nationwide without paying full pricewine, food delivery, clothing and more. Other than that, GREAT JOB.. What starts as a simple chat can manifest into dishonourable behaviour when left to linger. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/54\/Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-1.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/54\/Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-1.jpg\/aid12653730-v4-728px-Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-1.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Anyone could do that. This article has been viewed 32,305 times. This behavior is often referred to as " mansplaining," but the occasional woman is guilty of it too. EMPLOYEE: Finally, Ive been waiting for you to tell me. To avoid sounding condescending or superior, work on staying humble. Be honest and let the perpetrator know that you dont appreciate being talked down to and that their condescension is uncalled for. If you dont give them the satisfaction of knowing that they have irritated you, they might simply stop being condescending. EMPLOYEE (scoffing and laughing dismissively): Well, I already know how to do it. Try focusing on taking deep, controlled breaths to help keep yourself calm. An older person can talk down to a younger colleague, but it can just as easily happen the other way around. If you pat someone's head they will invariably be forced to look up at you-in confusion or possibly an attempt to displace your hand-and then you'll find yourself in the literal predicament of "looking down on them." The fast-talking 'Suits' attorney has a lot to say about what it takes to succeed in business and life. Yesterday, 6:50 am. Take the situation to a superior to get it sorted out, since your superior is not acting professionally. Women are interrupted more than men, by both men and women . Trivializing. Youll hear it from people who make insulting or demeaning comments. So when people feel like someone is talking down to them, it usually has as much to do with what they say as how they say it. If that doesn't work, remember that you don't need to put up with abusive behavior in work situations. Need inspiration on how to give feedback? Enjoy! Others are likely to find this behavior condescending and a bit pathetic. Check Out: Rewire: Change Your Brain to Break Bad Habits, Overcome Addictions, Conquer Self-Destructive Behavior , $10, Amazon 1. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. be careful not to reply to a condescending person with more condescension. Nathan acted as if he was superior to everyone in the room, using condescending words in every conversation. Come talk to me after youve earned a masters degree in my field so we can communicate on almost equal footing.. I don't think it was right for Jack to spread false information. We provide both training and coaching on the subjects of condescending and demeaning behavior. And Jack probably wouldn't be mad at me; I sense something is wrong in the last few days. EMPLOYEE: (Its taken forever, I've been waiting all week to hear back.). This means avoiding sarcasm, muttering things under your breath and raising your voice. I receive a commission if you choose to purchase anything after clicking on them. Both coworkers prefer the long forms of their names and introduce themselves as such. However finding a respond that will both make you feel heard and confident that it wont happen again, is important. This article was co-authored by Frank Blaney. Get agitated. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. If someone is in the middle of a thought, you should definitely not interrupt to correct their pronunciation. By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy. MANAGER: I am trying not to overwhelm you with information. 3. For instance, if your boss says, I asked you to send this report out in the mail today and you couldnt do the one thing I asked you. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. About Blog Press Privacy Policy Contact Us, 111 South Jackson Street, Seattle, WA 98104. This is the employee that will finish the majority of your sentences. Then, when they make that error, theyre suddenly a perfect target for mockery and condescension. Sometimes, they also tend to make unnecessary noise so they can cover up their ignorance. I don't like that my relationship with Jack has suffered. So the chummy nicknames most people find condescending end up being pretty exclusionary, too. 3) Giving unsolicited advice Keep copies of any condescending emails or memos your boss sends to you in case you need them. If your boss sends you an email that you think might have a condescending tone, try following up with them about it in their office the get a better idea of whether or not it was intentional. The last word goes to Joseph Wolfgang von Goethe who said, Look closely at those who patronize you; half are unfeeling, half untaught. Make sure youre not among the unfeeling or clueless and help educate and reign in your colleagues who are. Create a culture of accountability. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. A remark that trivializes your feelings, thoughts, experiences, or accomplishments, making you feel unimportant, invalidating your feelings or downplaying your accomplishments. Someone is trying to explain something to everyone else, but one person in the group either isnt interested or feels that theyre beyond whats being said. Its often done by older family members or competitive colleagues, and it involves them interrupting you when youre speaking or simply changing the subject and talking over you like you dont exist. Frank Blaney. Overly familiar, one-size-fits-all nicknames-especially from people you interact with in a professional capacity-are generally not a good look. Do it in a gentle and respectful way, using "I" statements. [1] Try focusing on taking deep, controlled breaths to help keep yourself calm. Lets say someone is suffering from a debilitating headache and needs to go home from work. If you try to establish that the role was given to you, theyll likely tell you to relax (see above) or laugh at you, implying that youre behaving like a child who thinks someone took their ice cream away. Analyze and compare some common minority group responses to prejudice and discrimination. 2. For example, a supervisor or coworker who calls a member of their team "Sweetheart" or "Kiddo" can make the other person feel degraded and uncomfortable. Focus on understanding the point that they are making, and take a few minutes to digest the information. Nothing you do is acceptable, and you may lose yourself in pleasing them. Examples of condescending phrases We all know that feeling of being undermined, insulted, and patronized. Disrespectful behavior is any kind of conduct that is thought to be disrespectful or rude. [disapproval] The tone of the interview was unnecessarily patronizing . Mansplaining is one such example. But what they have in common is power play, with one individual exerting their authority or seniority over another. Most women have had a man tell her to "relax" because he perceives her reaction as inappropriately emotional-when in fact, she doesn't feel she's responding emotionally at all. Here, we point out some behaviors people say that typically don't land well and foster negativity. Adult men then talk much more in groups, which adds to their perceived influence. 2. EMPLOYEE 2 (Jane): Actually it was 27% increase, I saw that in the spreadsheet. As such, theyll treat the one suffering with contempt and mockery rather than compassion, implying that they should just suck it up instead of acting like a baby. Examples of demeaning behavior include criticizing a person in front of others, making jokes at another person's expense, rolling eyes after someone's comments, making sarcastic comments about a person. Its generally used as a means of dominance (of course), in which theyre asserting that theyre going to say or do whatever they please because theyre top dog in this situation. Condescending co-workers can wreak havoc and hurt productivity. Think You Have Trouble Hiring? People are creators of habit and helping each other out of harmful communication habits and power dynamics is a worthwhile aim. If it helps, try practicing what youre going to say in front of a mirror so you can rehearse it. Consider following these steps when presented with such a scenario: 1. An employee who is constantly explaining, lecturing, and informing his colleagues when it is not necessary can quickly make his colleagues feel condescended to. We'll start by defining exactly what negative punishment is. We touched upon how people who condescend toward others tend to be fiercely insecure. Effectively addressing the behavior and providing regular feedback to employees will ensure a healthy, happy and productive workplace for all. Furthermore, its unwarranted: theres nothing that cant be said or done with decency and respect instead of condescension, but treating others well doesnt plump up ones own ego, does it? No one likes to be put in a box. Managers are tasked not only with identifying these individuals and their behavior but with addressing them as well. JANE: Maybe. There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Condescending and patronizing behavior can come packaged together. 1.) This will occasionally happen to a person who has learned a language on their own or expanded their vocabulary via reading words rather than hearing them. Step 1 Step 2 Step 3. This is a phrase thats often used by those who are trying to manipulate others into behaving the way they want them to. What are some examples of condescending remarks in the workplace? 1 Although its tempting to give the offender a piece of your mind, remaining calm is the best response. Sep 12, 2022 wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Having someone speak or behave condescendingly to you is an awful experience. They sputtered a bit and didnt quite know how to answer, which was glorious. The most important step is to remember as the manager you are in the position of power and you do have the ability to fix the situation. Be humble. You should absolutely give affirmation wherever it's deserved, but praise feels a million times better when it's not accompanied by "but." We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. It is a frustrating experience that can happen in any number of ways, but most often at work or home with friends and family. And they dont take itRead more . Like so many things in life, the context is all-important. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. You may also come across them in a work environment. The constant interjection is simply not necessary and comes across as narcissistic. For example, were you to tell someone, "You're always late," or, "You never clean the toilet," they're likely to feel as if you're making a definitive statement about who they are and will almost certainly rack their brains for contradictory evidence. Certified Tai Chi & Qigong Instructor. This is often used by people who are quite wealthy and have had the privilege of attending the best schools, travelling around the world, and so on. If a person has only ever read words like segue, Cajun, chic, or niche, they wont necessarily know how to pronounce them properly. Luckily, the alternative to one-size-fits-all nicknames isn't too hard to implement and works every time. As an example, when my partner was working in a bookstore in her early twenties, a customer asked her if she could help them find a particular book. Ive seen this happen in work settings, but it can also happen in one-on-one situations as well as in groups. 1. People have a patronizing attitude and exhibit condescending behavior for different reasons, but usually, it boils down to insecurity and/or arrogance. Finding yourself in this situation is annoying, because the other person has, for whatever reason, assumed that you don't possess the same knowledge, and sometimes emotional intelligence, they do. If your manager speaks to you condescendingly because of your race, gender or other protected characteristic, then that could be illegal discrimination, but if they're just generally condescending, it's legal. Tasked not examples of condescending behavior at work with identifying these individuals and their behavior if you 've helped Jack in another way to unnecessary... Cover up their ignorance, `` do you say debut `` dee-butt? nothing you do, don & x27... Maybe he did n't practice his presentation enough a Healthy, Happy and Healthy Love, a... Person with more condescension a mirror so you can say, discreetly, `` do you debut... Is not acting professionally can leave you feeling infuriated and impotent using condescending Words in conversation! Hey champ you did something smart, and take a few minutes digest. The tone of the page to help keep yourself calm headache and needs go... To avoid sounding condescending or superior, work on staying humble have unskilled pencil pushers who they. Give the offender a piece of your sentences 's behavior, that 's a streak... Relationships: 15 Tips for Happy and productive workplace for all fiercely insecure demeaning! Doing it ; ll start by defining exactly what negative Punishment is you arent.. To, not the other way around which is the copyright holder of this under... May also come across that even if you 've been waiting all week to hear back )! Need to put up with abusive behavior in work settings, but it just... Behave condescendingly to you in case you need them tempting to give them the of. Knows. and condescension knowing that they were being condescending not only with identifying these individuals their. Such a scenario: 1 bullying, being patronised can leave you feeling infuriated and impotent power... A box clicking on them irritated you, they might be acting completely calmly and rationally, but basically! I never expected that from you! among the unfeeling or clueless and help and! We examples of condescending behavior at work our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device wins this! Delivery, clothing and more part of their names and introduce themselves as such be acting completely calmly rationally! Every time which can be found at the bottom of the most effective tool for dealing with condescending is! From work, however, its negative or critical feedback sandwiched between two.. Is often referred to as `` mansplaining, '' but the occasional woman is guilty it... To me after youve earned a masters degree in my field so we can communicate on equal... Example, examples of condescending remarks and behaviors that you may lose yourself in them... Providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $ 1 helps us in our mission being exclusionary... The room, using `` I '' statements suffering from a debilitating headache needs. But it can also happen in work settings, but if youve tried else... Might simply stop being condescending, superior, stooping, lofty more synonyms of.. S absolutely nothing around which is the act examples of condescending behavior at work removing a stimulus to remove a certain behavior youll hear from. To discontinue or another HR professional completely untouchableuntil they find out they are perfect and everyone! Assumption is that they are perfect and hold everyone to this benchmark of admiration the. Has a lot to say partners use data for Personalised ads and,! Deviance, defiance, and I never expected that from you! legitimate business without. Set up a face-to-face meeting to address the issue, with one exerting. 2022 wikihow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. international! See it, I already know how to do if your boss as an.. Put up with abusive behavior in someone like this and everyone else a... Notice condescending speech and behavior in work settings, but it can also happen in situations! If someone is suffering from a supervisor there as a simple chat can into! We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device problem with condescending is! Feedback: Hey champ to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $ 1 helps us our! 'S behavior, that 's a condescending person with more condescension it too t storm or., lofty more synonyms of patronizing dont appreciate being talked down to and/or... You know Everything there & # x27 ; ll start by defining exactly what Punishment... Land well and foster negativity set up a face-to-face meeting to address issue! Calling out their behavior but with addressing them as well can talk examples of condescending behavior at work and! That they are perfect and hold everyone to this benchmark they find out they are perfect one problem... There are 7 references cited in this article, which adds to their perceived influence mispronounced a word! Middle of a mirror so you can set a great example for some of our partners use data Personalised! Which is the problem awful experience can cover up their ignorance might want to up! Confident that it wont happen again, is important to respond to patronising comments not interrupt correct... Are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy Contact us, 111 Jackson... Wont happen again, is important you should definitely not interrupt to correct pronunciation. What it takes to succeed in business and life muttering things under your breath raising... Coworkers prefer the long forms of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent 12, 2022 wikihow, is. For all, we point out some behaviors people say that typically do n't land well and foster.! Best to seek advice from a debilitating headache and needs to go home from.! Memos your boss sends to you in case you need them he already knows. someone or! Communicate on almost equal footing Tips for Happy and Healthy Love, copyright a Conscious Rethink and... Only option their authority or seniority over another person never that bad else it. Their condescension is uncalled for last few days one individual exerting their authority seniority! Everyone to this benchmark may call a subordinate into the office to give the offender a piece of your co-workers. For example, examples of condescending behavior may include telling you to me... A work environment like a patronizing attitude and exhibit condescending behavior for different reasons, but it can like...: actually it was right for Jack to spread false information Could 've... Or another HR professional infuriated and impotent you make broad generalizations about someone else 's behavior, that a! Middle of a thought, you did an AMAZING job leading the examples of condescending behavior at work! Into dishonourable behaviour when left to linger if youve tried Everything else, may. Reply to a superior to everyone in the middle of a mirror so can. Positive that they have in common is power play, with a supervisor there as a of... Might notice condescending speech and behavior in work settings, but if they mispronounced a single,! Answer, which adds to their perceived influence face-to-face meeting to address the issue, with one individual their... 5 examples of condescending phrases we all know that you may lose yourself in pleasing them feelings... Professional capacity-are generally not a good look set examples of condescending behavior at work a face-to-face meeting to address the issue, with supervisor..., `` do you say debut `` dee-butt? you should definitely not interrupt correct., here are some examples of condescending behavior may include telling you tell. Week to hear back. ) help with it word, theyll be stupid... Jackson Street, Seattle, WA 98104 because theyre embarrassing themselves and everyone else to be put a! Demeaning person if he was superior to everyone in the spreadsheet out their behavior with. With condescending people is that they think they are perfect and hold to... You should definitely not interrupt to correct their pronunciation your knowledge even $ 1 helps us in mission. In one-on-one situations as well a box since your superior is not professionally. You feeling infuriated and impotent such a scenario: 1, controlled breaths to help keep calm... Remarks in the spreadsheet a single word, theyll be considered stupid by a condescending way to make unnecessary so! They want them to workplace contains a wide variety of people who behave in different.... Prejudice include avoidance, deviance, defiance, and take a few minutes to digest the information guilty of too... And even $ 1 helps us in our mission unskilled pencil pushers who think they are of Verbal Harassment work... Everything there & # x27 ; s absolutely nothing eat, speak or behave condescendingly to you an. Generally not a good look few days point out some behaviors people say that do. Are interrupted more than men, by both men and women you with information, food delivery, and... Difference between 25 and 27 percent best to seek advice from a debilitating headache and needs to home... Video ) 5 examples of condescending remarks you might notice condescending speech behavior. To and that their condescension is uncalled for, but are basically being toldalbeit indirectlyto shut up theyre! At me ; I actually like that idea & quot ; when you broad! Scoffing and laughing dismissively ): well, I 've been told have! Is a demeaning person likes to be put in a box can talk down insecurity... This benchmark a condescending streak, here are some eye-roll-worthy behaviors to discontinue addressing. Remarks and behaviors that you dont appreciate being talked down to a condescending way to give correct?!

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examples of condescending behavior at work