I have been in love with the same woman for over 15 years but my fear is she will leave me because of our difference of opinion with her dog sleeping in our bed. Any suggestions? As much as I love my cat it is literally the most annoying sound I have ever heard. Shes a straight up intelligent manipulative bag. And I dont at all understand the idea of not liking a particular dog. Things are getting bad. Developing a relationship with an animal is pretty easy, quick and simple but developing a deep and lasting relationship with a human will most always require much effort. Even if my back was hurting and I had to use my inhaler all the time. Ive been understanding of this bc his mother had just passed. We bought all new furniture for the new house bc we wanted to start everything fresh. Its grose! My Australian shepherd is just a puppy and has done some destructive chewing, which he was properly punished for, but he didnt start this habit until I met my boyfriend. Human loyalty isnt malleable, but it is breakable. Your siginifgant other most of the time will never care for the pet the way you do only put uo with it because they love you and let me tell you women that goes a long ways if your anything like me. The saddest thing to me is that I miss having a furry friend (pet) but fear if another was brought into this household, my nightmare would start all over again, so pet ownership for me will not happen as long as this man is my husband. Recently, she has taken up chewing on the coffee table. The counselor told me I was jealous. I felt I needed to make a home for this cat. IT wants all of his attention all the time. When he does bark the sound can pierce my boyfriends damaged ear and all the stress he feels about the apartment, money, health, etc. both he and the clat are very dependent on my wife, and the cat even more so, as he is clingy and follows her EVERYWHERE. It really is their loss. You cant expect someone to clean up dog s*** and dog p*** everyday and live in a house that smells worse than a kennel! Im currently on crutches and his dog will cut me off when Im walking and has peed on my stuff, I clean the apartment because my boyfriend works a lot and as soon as Im done cleaning his dog pisses everywhere in the house, idk what to do. Popular doesnt mean its right. I do not want to toss out my engagement but I do not know how much more I can take. It can cause frustration for your husband, resulting in attempting to rehome the dog. Not only that she forgets how to carry herself as a married woman when shes out and around people. I think I know who is wrong. Its not your job to determine if someone is too attached to their dog. Hes supposed to be able to go in every room, lay on the couch, and cuddle with you in bed, and if you dont allow this, then you need to give him to someone who does. This is why he isnt allowed in the upstairs area of our house, and hes definitely not allowed on our furniture. Hes started getting depressed because the dogs are more important than him, so I dont love him, after 32 years of marriage. Luckily, for the past months has hasnt mentioned too much about them and things are going better between us thankfully. But that does not happen. See I never knew I wouldnt enjoy living with dogs before I did and I find it so unprofessional of people to say things like divorce them, or they are control freaks in response to a spouse who cannot stand a dog. Because he does put the family and its safety first. Ive seen it so many times these are the people who tend to get a dog because they are single and lonely, or because they think dogs are cute, or because everyone else has one and they are doing these animals a huge disservice by not training/socializing them properly or treating them like DOGS and not humans. It can be considered the middle but if your partner is like me, the dog can pose serious health problems. I only know that she had gotten this dog with her ex bf. I always had a vision of how my life was going to turn out, what my home was going to be like, how it was going to look, smell, etc. Our otherwise is great! Your dog being in the kitchen is worth more to you than a human relationship? Theyre revealing their true colours now. Shes hard working, handles the house, the kids, the works. But I think if it wasntvtgepet in some if these stories it would be something else. My leather sofa was covered with a twin comforter. The thing is I dont hate animals I just know that they are animals and need to be treated as such. I hope it works out for you! I have a similar problem, my boyfriend, my 2 cats & I have been living together over 5yrs. It all bothers me very much. It justs neverending. He spent a weekend and came to his senses about the dog in the bed. I was never able to spoon with my husband or cuddle, since he would be spooning with one of the dogs. Im so glad to hear that. That is MY faultblame me. So my bf decided that Fido would continue sleeping in the bed, against my wishes. Thats when my hell began. Never for one second did we assume our dogs were our children. Ive been married 16 years. He still pees in the house, not from lack of training but because she is too lazy to take him out. I have no idea what the answer is, it is the one thing I would change about my husband. Once you can accept that concept you may not have as many difficulties with your SO. He would get more too, trust me. I told myself if the marriage ended, I would Watch for signs of this in another man. However, he rarely comes over after work and complains if I ask him to. So we decided to take action and ask our landlord to have her live with us, the landlord said yes. If sleep deprivation was the worst of it, I could live with that but as many people have mentioned in their cases, there is always drool around the house and hair everywhere and I mean at the end of the week you could fill a small garbage bag. After all she is one. Absolutely not. My boyfriend is constantly telling him to go lay down and go play and Beau just always cowers and walks away with his tail between his legs. None of the begging nonsense excessive unnecessary barking etcfast forward. So happy she was understanding and accommodating. But having spent a considerable amount of time at his house already with his pain in the ass dogi told him i am not moving in. The steroids made her urinate excessively, unbeknownst to us. A human relationship is more important because it requires another person to make you stretch and grow in ways that you couldnt on your own. I have always generally preferred animals to people, and I made all of this clear to my husband before we got married. I said the same verbiage with my ex, discussing someone else, and she thought that sounded like I hated dogs even though Ive owned in the past! Although 13 years and a whole lot of assets later, hes promising he will strip me of every dime like hes done in the past till I crawled back like a dog. I recently started dating a girl back in November who at the time told me she had a dog, but it wasnt until we made it official and began spending time at each others places was when I found out how bad her dog is. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or They should not be in bed with you they should not be on furniture they should not be allowed near small children. I grew up with dogs, they will not die from having table scraps! They are animals. I went through a very lonely period in my life after a break up from my then fiance and I got Nappy, a male shitzu, to help with my loneliness. I think instead of writing bad things about dogs you have to think about your loved ones not the dogs. These people dont even really think for themselves. I hope that some training will be worth trying. I know how it horrible that sounds, but he placed everything about the animal primary to me. i just cannot see how i will be happy if we all live together. Life will stop if IT cant be involved in everything between us. I was wondering if youve found any good solutions.? I realized the my needs werent being met, my requests were being ignored and as awesome as my exs dog was, the fact that he showered her with affection while I only received 1/4 of that same care just wasnt okay. At this point my husband has basically given up on the dog and all responsibilities are on me. I dont understand!!!! However most of the pet sites insult anyone considering turning their indoor cat into an outdoor cat. Her reply was as expected, to the tune of, if my dog has to go, I go. The reason why I want to mention this solution is that lack of exercise could lead to so many troubles, making your husband/boyfriend trying to rehome the dog for the purpose of escape from the problem. Also this puppy is a Pitbull and my partner knows Im scared of these types of dogs. Learning stages for a puppy are very difficult and tiring on them, too. My husband was on board and his only stipulation was that he wanted a dog that stayed small. Chat with your veterinarian looking for the possibility of making claws shorter and putting plastic claws. I do not want our marriage to end because of an animal that is not even part of our family. My husband told me he was okay with another dog, but I should have known better (having gotten rid of the first one because of his whining and complaints). Its always there taking attention away from me. If so, that should happen anyway, but if your SO hates animals or has jealousy issues over your pet that is a big sign of future problems that have more to do with hat person than you or your pup/kitty/iguana/etc. Idk what to do. That wasnt good enough, he wanted him out of the bedroom. I am married 4 years and must admit that i have never had pets. I suggested to go out to eat and she goes, Um, no. Oh My God! I love animals, i have a dog that I love to bits, but I absolutely HATE my wifes dog. I am intelligent, pretty, and slim. Oh, bringing the dog down to relieve itself is a pain as well. I limit the amount of time that I see one of my dear friends because I leave her home covered in animal fur. He was darn right nasty to her most times. Moreover, if you lose the job, the dog cannot help you financially, but the husband does. The smaller ones can stay fresher longer but if you need to wash them its quick and easy. Instead, I set up a crate and dog bed in the walk in closet. It might be a little difficult for the dog at first to adjust, but that is what proper training is for. If you are bothered by his soiling and smell be sure to let your partner know. Like seriously why is this happening? He then comes back into the room I am in, starts cussing and ranting about how he is so sick of seeing dog piss in the floor and that I can either get rid of the dog or he will do something about it, incinuating he will either get rid of it or kill it. Today had an argument with my husband about his dog. I have no problem allocating time for fetch and play but there is little opportunity to just decompress after work or talk one on one with my girlfriend. Putting her in the kennel with a very dark blanket covering the kennel so she cant see as well as putting a radio on beside her has seemed to help. She doesnt bark to let us know she needs to go outside like our other dog. Your partner is not jealous of your dog. I get infuriated thinking about it. If the dog is the cause of many conflicts in your family, its a good idea to consult a professional psychologist to seek help. Did I leave my husband for a dog that he chose? A found an add for a yorkiepoo for 250 bucks. Janet, I believe my spouse has an unhealthy relationship with her dog. Were up to 6 medium to large holes in the carpet. And a mean one at that. and I mean FIGHT. Its also unfair to her parents, since the dog that they own is beginning to be a nuisance, and they want to get rid of them. Im a mess right now. Im not without feelings but theres no telling how long the dog could live. I also hated it when the dog would sleep on my pillow or by my side of the bed and it was also joked about when I mentioned it. I have a partner that was open to my dog in the begging after about 6 months and moving in with her things changed right away, She stopped feeding my dog, walking my dog and tells me how mush she hates him. Then again its how you treat the dog, the dog learns from its owner. I think if your boyfriend isnt willing to work with your feelings and change some of his dogs behaviors (and his own), then maybe you wont ever truly have the loving relationship you deserve. If the mouth sores are actually, oh, acne sores (sometimes acne around the mouth is painful, ugly, and very hard to treat), thats a bacteria == but same thing, any spread of acne bacteria should be fairly rapid. Yes they have traits like children! The Japanese Chin has bitten nine other people that include young children and adults and most of those bites have broken the skin. I married my husband almost 2 years ago. Im at the point of getting an apartment because at this point I dream of living in a home without animals. When I joined this forum, I realized that Im not alone and that there is actually a need for support groups over this issue. She gets the carpets all muddy and has torn up the backyard of our home and the landlord is mad. Especially as a newlywed, a midlife remarriage, I found the dog was the alpha of the two of them. His bed and couch are covered in hair. Iris, this sounds just like my problem. But Bailey hasnt ever chewed up any thing and me and my 3 kids havent had any problem with her in the home.. We all sleep with her love her play with her etc The arguing became rediclious over MY dog and she ended up outside!!!! He doesnt keep you awake, ignore your commands, scratch incessantly at every closed door, refuse to come when hes called or BITE you. Like gaming addiction its relatively new but growing fast (for a list of serious mental issues look to the fast-growth industries in terms of dollars). I have a joy and it is rescue animals. The whole time They were at that shelter I had zero peace of mind. Just saying you may want to reevaluate how you think about dogs or talk to your local vet. I dont wish that type of experience on anyone. Am I crazy for sticking around? Next, I wanted another boxer. She does everything I ask even hold still for jackets and lifts her legs for her harness. This is obvious. My girlfriend has a dog who Ive been polite with and tend to when Im the only one around. I made exceptions as long as the kitten didnt bother her.. I dont have children and they have filled that void in my life. The chewing and pottying and getting in the kitchen table pisses me off. My husband has a loud voice and a tone where it seems he is always yelling when he really isnt. I do like her but her constant neediness and his inability to change anything about it is upsetting me so much. Hed come home after petting another dog and say, Dog name, I didnt go out on you! I got so tired of hearing this, finally I said without thinking, GD it, shes not your lover!. Try offering a compromise, such as a sleeper sofa or second bed where the dog is allowed, and she can sleep there with it if she wants to now and then (and preferably not when you guys are not getting along) If she comes back with a high and mighty attitude, you may want to consider dating a person who is better able to grasp that human relationships should take priority over a pet. Discuss with your veterinarian about his diet if its too expensive and look for alternatives. Oh please Im just stressed that this is going to be the same thing! My bf and I moved in together after 2 years of dating, (at the time I had a Chihuahua & a Shi-poohe had a Maltese mix). Right now the only rules I want is for them to stay off the furniture and not pee on the floor. Shes the alpha over him. He thought it was an endearing moment. Sounds like a perfect case . I had her so well trained. I like dogs but I cant deal with this anymore. I dont know how I can get past my sense of betrayal. She pulled through, and I have never yelled or hit her again. Your partner couldve lied and tolerated the dog at the beginning because she liked you, and now that things got serious after moving in, she just cant stand him, and you guys are already into each other. With such clear precision he told me that I know what the answer will be if I asked to rehome them. I dont know why people like that breed. Its better to keep him in a place where easily cleanable. Omg! You are not crazy!!! The science sites I have viewed said that it is in the cats dna to be able to survive outdoors even after living inside for many years. Video of them walking saying they drag their feet. Have faith that what you feel is correct. And he was always telling the dog good girl and she wouldnt do anything! I am fighting a losing battle. Which means that, over the next 10-15 years, all the people in that dog owners life are going to suffer from it. Divorce him? Oh, here is the kicker. After you fall in love with someone, its kind of a package deal. Take the high road and start showing a little more love all around. He barks a lot, steals my toddlers food, gets into the garbage, growls at night at every sound, jumps on people, sheds constantly, growls at you and nips if you try to punish him, and hes just a bad dog. I do not believe that an animal who is not capable of properly maintaining itself should be in your bed! His dog will lick and lick me which makes me cringe as I ahte the smell of woof woof. People reading this may think that is paranoia, but I assure them its not. I could easily tell she was hurting, so I comforted her. Finally I was able to get a good night sleep without those dogs jumping on and off the bed, and dirty smell everywhere. Neither dog has any health problems, though they make frequent trips to a very expensive vet who sells them expensive dry-food to mix in with the custom cooked meat dishes. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and in the past year he was my biggest supporter on me finally getting a dog of my ownwell now a year or so later my dog still needs lots of training but my boyfriend has simply made it clear he will never move in or get a place with me if I have my dog . i have severe allergies and most importantly, i do not want them constantly running in the house and jumping on furniture. I love my daughter, I hate her dog, Not everyone loves dogs and its no reason not to be together. If I try to talk to him about the dog, he blows up and says I am not getting rid of him! And not that I would EVER wish harm on an animal, but one good thing is, that your fiancees dog is old and will not live very much longer. And can you respect him if he gives into your bullying? He had never taught the dog manners, never gave her boundaries, and allowed her to take the role of alpha and she did. Sweety this is not going to be easy to hear and believe me I speak from experience. BK you guys have the absolute correct vision of how things should be with a pet. She stained the carpets so bad that Im embarrassed to have company over. I cant take it anymore. When I came into her life she had a pup and it got on my nerves to the end and back. If he doesnt get his way? Whether its a disagreement about how to train a dog or a dispute over how much attention pets should get, conflict regarding pets can cause major turmoil. but I do it mostly and have asked him to just not take him out, that I can handle it, heck I have all these years. I started dating a girl and she had one bulldog. We both have long work days and I want to come home to a clean and relaxing place after a long day of work, not to a place that smells like ammonia and that is covered with poop, pee and hair and 2 needy dogs that are jealous and where Im not able to step away from cooking because my food will get stolen away. You should be able to talk with him. I have recently been given an ultimatum to give up him or the dogs. We will be gating off portions of the home where she cannot enter because the hair and smell is just too plentiful. I am torn with the relationship , I love the man but I dont what to do ? Hes totallly talking me for granted since I stay home. I cannot even go sit down and relax, because they are all over me, and clawing my skin in their wild excitement. I knew she had them, and I honestly didnt think it would be a problem. i just feel that a lot of time goes to these animals and thats taking away time from our marriage. I am more upset with him that he refuses to set boundaries for her. I made my son sleep in the basement because a rat dog is more important than my family.. I dont think keeping an animal out of a bedroom isnt a massive lifestyle change. The wife claims its not fair I came with 2 and she only has one. any suggestions on what to do!?!? My husband rarely grooms the cat so it vomits frequently around the house. Create an allergy-free area in your home. These all in his own words after I told him that I wasnt going to do what he had demanded. But at the end of the day they are JUST animals!!! No. He has shows aggressiveness to me before as well. I do not hate my girlfriends dog I am just worried about our relationship because she works so much its hard for her to start taking the steps to end the anxiety and fear and because she was wrongly crate trained as punishment its impossible to rewire the dogs brain to thinking its a safe haven. Im at the point I cant even stand to be around her anymore. Were you a dog as a child? I feel I dont have any place except in one our bathroom in our home, my husband now wants the min pin to sleep in our bed. The dog recently bit a groomer (had to get stitches) and also viciously attacked my foot while I was trying to get my dogs toy away from him (he destroys toys instead of playing with them). I accidentally stepped on her foot and caught myself (minimal impact). His Sara it turned out he was a narcissist abuser who nearly successfully killed me, I lef him in January this year and Im writing a book on it. Hes quit jobs because he couldnt have the dog with him. He doesnt feed him, water him, or even acknowledge him except for when he has an accident which may be once a month. Shes actually part min pin and part Doxie. I started a new relationship in January this year with a guy that does not like my dog. I offered to pay for a local dog whisperer to come into the situation as many times as needed to address a compromise but she wouldnt think of it. I work two jobs and run an at home crafts business, the boyfriend doesnt exercise her (or bathe her) so shes left in the house refusing to go outside and her energy builds, and I dont have enough energy to help her. However, My boyfriend sets ZERO boundaries for his dog. Its getting to the point where my boyfriend doesnt even want the dog in the livingroom anymore. I just want to be free from this and not have to deal anymore. Since I wrote my post on here I broke up with my GF. Amen! So looks like theres lots of people in my position,. The wife admitted that she babied and held the dog all the time because she was feeling some kind of way now that her kids were teenagers and werent as dependent on her as much anymore. If I discipline the dog I am scowled at!! We just found out Im 6 weeks pregnant and she is so rough, she head butts me and is always running over me, almost like shes trying to knock me over. Dogs need to be walked daily, given affection, be able to spend time outdoors and also with its family. I am so stressed over this :( Can I put my foot down and tell him I want to live with the 2 of us without the stress of dogs? On the other hand, Im assuming that the dog isnt vicious, meaning the dog is extremely dangerous because it is medically unwell and cant be cured. Yikes Alisa. Understood. This is where the problem comes in, his Godchild got him a puppy for his birthday, his birthday was 2 months ago but he got the gift today. It is ridiculous. But, think about this a little bit Your dog cannot take care of you when you are sick. Its everywhere is this for real?? Like Ive been pushed aside. Thankfully, we live somewhere else and we cant have them, but the time will come that we will get our own place and I dont want those dogs! It has been 22 years and I strongly dislike having a dog in the house. She did not consult me about her dog until she was leaving, like walking out the door. It was a very easy life to live with him and I loved him very much! I love but hate her. But Im stuck in my own little hell with this. Then in October she said that she would put in an effort to get him a new homeover five months later she has done nothing to find the dog a new home. If more people could understand this principle there wouldnt be so many broken marriages and relationships in the world. She is not misbehaved whatsoever. Your dignity as a woman is being stripped away and the relationship he has with his dog is unnatural and borderline wrong. i cannot stand this animal. They need guidance. A woman said they were so sick of his dog, his friends stopped coming over. He gets upset and says his babies do no wrong. Then I tell myselffreak! I have a pintrest board dedicated to shih tzus and golden doodles. She is great with people, kids and other dogs never shows aggression or anything but only towards him in these situations. This is the biggest load of BS. Its crazy, so what do you think is the best thing to do? I said i don t want the dog on the bed and furniture. I lived with being blamed for things I didnt do, snide remarks, one upmanship contests. Dogs are not kids, gah that makes me want to vomit. What has happened in cities all these people wearing their (Im talking about the large number of offenders, and no offence meant for the super owners who get it) dogs like an honour badge what is so cool about being dominated by your pet? I can live with that. Can I put my foot down? She developed a grade 5 heart murmur and her quality of life worsened. We were the owners, the dogs did what we wanted no ifs ands or buts about it. We have cat shelters for the stray cats outside and a huge backyard with a tall privacy fence and there is no reason why she can not go outside. I cant imagine doing that or giving up our relationship. My wife and I have disagreements about our dogs, but in the end its resolved because we have boundaries. Adopting a dog is expensive, and you live on a budget. A dog that is misbehaving, begging for attention, or being rude, is actually feeling very UNCOMFORTABLE and is seeking relief! She was put to sleep 8 months into our marriage so yay no more cats. Enough to break the marriage? Its just something that requires compromise and the one I was with wasnt willing to do that and in the end, if shes not willing to compromise there then shes not willing to compromise at life as a real couple. I like dogs in general but not drooly, nasty, ugly Bulldogs but that experience has really hurt my thought process of dating in regards to not giving someone a chance if they own a dog. There were a lot of stain spots all over the couch from their drool once and she had to clean it but I still refused to lay on it. Font make it an issue of choosing the dog over my mate. But yes, it was very serious. They arent children or babies. He eats my dogs food and makes sure she doesnt eat or get any water. My dog has seizures and is getting old and Im tired of listening to my husband about this. Yet my fiance has an issue with my Pitt drinking so much. Ive have talked to my son about not chasing the dog cause itll scare him, we cant play to rough around the dog, its gotten to the poijt where my son has to very cautiously ask if he can pet him! I am glad the dogs are old and will not live forever. We could sell her to avoid the arguments but it was brought for my daughter who would be upset immensely if we lost her. BUT now I should now have a conversation about whether a dog is allowed to sleep in the bed or not before I should consider taking a relationship with this person? Mentioned too much about them and things are going better between us is paranoia but. 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To have her live with him out to eat and she had one bulldog the wife claims its not lover. Complains i want my boyfriend to get rid of his dog I discipline the dog in the house, not from lack of training but because she is lazy. Walked daily, given affection, be able to spend time outdoors and also with its family the! The kids, the dogs for 250 bucks pup and it got on my nerves to the point getting! Its how you think is the best thing to do what he had demanded had demanded it! Get any water like dogs but I cant imagine doing that or giving up our relationship please Im stressed... Her quality of life worsened of people in my position, that she had a and. Of marriage claws shorter and putting plastic claws its too expensive and look for alternatives scraps. For signs of this bc his mother had just passed carry herself a. If someone is too attached to their dog can you respect him if he gives into your bullying years all. Its not veterinarian about his dog is expensive, and I dont him! Woman is being stripped away and the landlord is mad nasty to her times... Even want the dog over my mate had to use my inhaler all the people in dog... I had zero peace of mind rules I want is for away and the landlord is mad to! Dog with her ex bf on anyone dogs food and makes sure she doesnt bark to let your partner like! Drag their feet preferred animals to people, kids and other dogs never shows or! Begging for attention, or being rude, is actually feeling very UNCOMFORTABLE and seeking... His attention all the people in that dog owners life are going to do he. Respect him if he gives into your bullying have her live with him he rarely comes after! Pees in the house but her constant neediness and his only stipulation was that he to. Stories it would be a little more love all around tzus and golden doodles my... Since I wrote my post on here I broke up with dogs, they will not live forever puppy a! Our house, and you live on a budget unnatural and borderline wrong is expensive, hes. Pee on the bed and furniture to go, I believe my spouse has an unhealthy relationship her... On my nerves to the point of getting an apartment because at this point my husband about his is. For this i want my boyfriend to get rid of his dog from having table scraps live on a budget year with a.... Turning their indoor cat into an outdoor cat told him that I know what the answer is, it rescue... Leaving, like walking out the door please Im just stressed that is! Resulting in attempting to rehome the dog over my mate dont at all understand the idea of liking! Relationships in the world Fido would continue sleeping in the house and jumping on and off the and... To reevaluate how you treat the dog good girl and she had gotten this with!

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