A few months ago, I. 6. Visits from friends and family started to become exciting; they gave me a chance to socialize and see other adults. The moment the nurses placed her on my chest, my entire world changed. How Do COVID Vaccine Dosages Work for Kids? Both illnesses can be life-threatening for infants.. Do not let many relatives into the room. It can be hard to keep family and friends away who are clamoring to cuddle your baby. I started to wish that my husband and I had tried cocooning, a parenting trend thats been in the news recently, where parents hole up in their home with their newborn for a few weeks just them, no visitors at all (not even grandparents). She wanted to be in the delivery room with me but I refused to let her, my husband said he'd keep her out of the room under the condition that she be the 1st person to hold the baby. If you are a visiting grandparent, offer to stay in a hotel when you visit. 2. While new babies are not as fragile as they may seem, you do want to ensure that they are held properly, particularly in the first few months of life. For the price of one cup of coffee each week you can help keep paywalls away. Babies are very vulnerable to germs and illness. Having grandparents as house guests can be disruptive to young families under the best of circumstances. A good rule of thumb is to follow your instincts as well as to have most people look rather than touch in the early months. My sister-in-law (married to my brother-in-law) wouldn't let anyone hold the baby at the hostpital, no one just her and the father. Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place. For example, a young woman meets a man from a higher social class. If an infant less than one month of age gets a fever (a temperature greater than or equal to 100.4), that child needs to be admitted to . When introducing your baby to family members, hold these visits outdoors, when possible, and everyone gets to mask up and keep their . While we can't control for public exposure, like taking an infant to the grocery store, parents can ask. When Can You Let Visitors Hold Your Newborn Baby? A few months ago, I winced my way through 36 hours of induced labor to give birth to my very first child, a beautiful baby girl. Some expectant parents say that they aren't taking hospital visitors. Still, they are vulnerable to certain safety and health risks, including accidents and infections. 24 hours of labor, 4 1/2 hours of pushing, and IT'S A BOY! Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). services and While it was exciting at first, it wasnt long before I felt completely overwhelmed. Here are 6 common conflicts and solutions, including how you can say "no", how you can avoid alienating your in-laws and how you can be sure to stand up for yourself. As the weeks went by, I started to feel less hormonal and emotional, less overwhelmed, and more normal. Throughout all of that, my phone went off constantly with texts from friends and family members everyone wanted to know when they could come visit. They were both told no for no reason. ! to every nurse who came in the room. 36 hours of labor and a rough delivery later and our baby girl Sophia came exactly one week early this was the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life and I didnt think I could do it but it was all worth it in the end when they handed me my little bean. I come from a large family, I have my own son, this seems purposefully cruel. You may want to avoid letting young children or people who haven't held a newborn before carry your baby around. My baby's skin is dry. DH: testicular cancer survivor!! As eager as grandparents may be to get acquainted with their newborn grandchild, they should understand that it is equally important to get off on the right foot with the new parents. Sometimes, tough calls have to be made. Also, know that there often are compromises to be made that can make everyone happy. As your baby grows, they'll gradually start to need fewer night feeds and will sleep for longer at night. At a certain point, I wasnt just feeling overwhelmed; I was also starting to feel anxious. Whether it is in the room, the hospital door, or even your home, make sure to post a list of dos and dont for visitors to follow when visiting your baby. Doing so will cocoon the baby from outside germs, says Dr. Ahmed. "Zoom or skype visits are a good way to introduce baby to the world as well," says Dr. Khan. They want to see the baby and that's what they intend to do. November 7, 2022. by Janna Firestone. At no time do they replace the diagnosis, advice, or treatment . However, generally, experts agree that babies are most vulnerable in the first few months of life. RSV Cases Surge Across the U.S., What To Know and How To Protect Your Kids, How to Prepare for Your First Day Home With Your New Baby, The Best Infant Car Seats for Your Precious Cargo, The 11 Best Baby Wraps and Slings of 2023, A Complete Guide To Your Baby's Five Senses, The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023. Some people are being understanding, others are not. Today's mothers live in a fairly different world. All rights reserved. A newborns immune system is its strongest in that first week. In other cases, especially when the baby is sleeping a lot, the parents will be eager to maximize their face-to-face time. If youre going to be outdoors, care should be taken to protect the newborn from direct sunlight to prevent unintended sunburns, says Dr. Alexander. I would not be offended. Since newborns can't hold up their heads on their own, it's especially important that their heads are supported and their faces aren't trapped against any objects while they are held. ), although I still understand how a new mom might not be ok with doing that. And your baby might need more sleep than you think. Dr. William Schaffner, MD, an infectious disease expert and Professor of Preventive Medicine in the Department of Health Policy as well as Professor of Medicine in the Division of Infectious Diseases at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville, TN, Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician, Dr. Harvey Karp, MD, a pediatrician, and author of the best-selling parent guides Happiest Baby on the Block & Happiest Toddler on the Block, Expert Advice For Managing A 12 Month Sleep Regression, The 4 Month Sleep Regression: Survival Tips From Baby Sleep Experts, The 18-Month Sleep Regression: Expert Advice To Get You Through, The 8-10 Month Sleep Regression: Expert Advice To Get You Through It, What Parents Are Talking About Delivered Straight To Your Inbox, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Why would parents do this to grandparents? We told our family before she was born that we would not be letting anyone hold her for a while - this time of year there are just too many bugs going around. Grandparents who do not agree with the decisions made by the new parents should remember that one of the main jobs of grandparents is respecting boundaries. Aunts and uncles w. If any of my kids treated me like that I would be devastated. Parents, on the other hand, may have a mixture of feelings about it. Feed your newborn on cue. Be VERY cautious in the first month of life. New babies do not have as strong of an immune system as older children and adults do, so they are more prone to developing more serious consequences from getting infections, explains Dr. Hasson. I've never understood why people think they are entitled to hold other people's brand new babies who are extremelysuscepible to germs. Hold your baby to your shoulder or chest. It made me so happy t, Original poster- I would have been very sad, too, but tried to understand it. They also offer support and. Above all else, be patient with new parents. We restricted visits initially. If possible, do not allow others to handle your baby for too long as your little one may become over-stimulated, and they will need their rest. Do I Have Postpartum Blues or Postpartum Depression? I should add that we DID let family hold our LO in the hospital (after much hand washing! Should you let them? MEL73104 December 2009 My little girl was born Dec. 15th, so she's 8 days old. Decide on a small circle of people that you feel comfortable touching or being near your newborn, suggests Dr. Ahmed. What if exposing her to others like this was going to make her sick? . Ultimately, it's up to you to decide who gets to touch your newbornand even who gets to be close enough to breath on them. Registered office: 3rd floor, Latin Hall, Golden Lane, Dublin 8. The latter occurred for one dad as he welcomed his first son and chose not to let family members hold the baby . use of this site indicates your agreement to be bound by the Terms of Use. [1] Here are some other reasons why parents may request that grandparents not visit the hospital: It's important to remember that new mothers are usually sent home after 48 hours. Forget about the common cold. Will the COVID-19 Vaccine Be Safe for Babies? We are dealing with the same thing right now. I love that they wanted to come over right away, I love that our parents were so incredibly helpful, and I realistically know we could not have gotten through those first few days without their assistance. I come from a large family too and my LO has already been held by more people than I can remember. Germs and bacteria that may seem harmless to us are quite dangerous for your baby as their immunity is not fully functional yet. And of course, part of family bonding when a new baby is born is all about the cuddles; holding, touching and interacting with the baby in a normal and happy way. I've also told people I don't want anybody kissing him. Secondly, new parents may not be comfortable passing their babies around. I love her so much and I would do anything in the world for her. Feedback on Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby?. Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby? I in fact never asked to hold him, only GM and GF did. The couple began cautioning other parents after their daughter died from viral meningitis at 18 days old. Sorry, I registered just so I could ask this question and get feedback. But just on the father/husband side, the mothers parents arrive today. Also Read:How to Hold an Infant Properly? Just family is allowed over right now anyway, we're not up to other visitors yet. Nobody has a right to your baby, and that includes close family. However, newborns do not have a very developed immune system, so it is wise for parents to be careful of how many people touch their little one. There is plenty of time for your baby to explore social situations in their own time and in their own way. I'm tired. A wet or soiled diaper can cause tears. Like she was afraid of all the Germs or something. We told our "Use good common sense, and pick people to hold your baby who are most important in your and your baby's life, such as grandparents and good friends.". I cant look at her without crying happy tears. Youre so happy and in love that it doesnt even matter that youre also tired and smelly. I have a 3 month old and have just starting letting grandparents have a hold in the last couple of weeks. Aarohi Achwal holds a bachelors degree in Commerce and a masters degree in English Literature. Anyone else's baby a climber. If they only have one or two days in the hospital, mothers may need all that time for rest and recuperation. But I felt a strange sense of obligation; I started setting dates with everyone for when they could visit. Police leading the search for a missing two-month-old baby have sought an extension of 36 hours to continue questioning their parents. To get a balanced view, we put the dilemma to a group of Irish parents, keeping things anonymous to encourage honest answers. The next day, after her first pediatrician appointment, we found out that her jaundice levels were too high and that she would need to be admitted back into the hospital for about 24 hours. Since mom herself will be back on her period soon, there's no valid, medically-proven reason that someone's menstrual cycle would cause any harm to a newborn. , Access to the comments facility has been disabled for this user. Start by selecting which of these best describes you! I could not wait to introduce my tiny little human to everyone in my life. This means they need to feed little and often. Am I being unreasonable by not letting other people hold my baby? While theres no hard and fast rule on how long your Grandma Suzie should stay at your home to see the baby, you should try to keep visits short and sweet. And she would like to continue creating content on health and lifestyle. should not be construed as a substitute for advice from a medical professional or health care provider. But by responding, you let your newborn know that you're always there. PH: (01) 6489130, Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: info@presscouncil.ie. But before you extend an invitation, you should try to hold off at least a month or more. And it was absolute bliss; everything was quiet, I could pump and nurse wherever I wanted, no one took her out of my arms. It is a really hard decision and I keep questioning myself, but that is what we are doing for now. The idea of being heard without having to speak appeals to her. Strategies that Diamond recommends for keeping your baby safe include asking people to wash their hands before holding your child, insisting they wear a mask, not allowing recently sick. Try stroking your newborn gently when you change a nappy or at bath time. Ideally, it is best to wait until an infant has received the first set of the recommended vaccines, Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician tells Romper. Your little baby and their developing immune system simply aren't ready for germs yet. The information on this website is of a general nature and available for educational purposes only and Dont put your little baby at risk because you are embarrassed to set a limit to keep the hordes of well-meaning baby-gawking friends away for a few months, says Dr. Karp. Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Being outside has a much lower risk than being inside, says Dr. Schaffner. Most grandparents will be dying to help with the baby, but again, defer to the parents' wishes. I love her so much that I cry when I look at her, I miss her when she is sitting across from me being held by someone else, and I would go through the pain of childbirth a hundred times over if it meant getting her. One reason is that newborn babies are not tuned into day and night yet. Its fair that you dont want to pass your baby on to someone who you dont know very well, but isnt it lovely that they still want to hold her, despite not knowing you very well either? It doesn't cost a penny, but the payoffs can be enormous. Can definitely confirm that everything everyone says about the first few days of being a parent is true. Susan Adcox is a writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories From My Grandparent: An Heirloom Journal for Your Grandchild. But the bottom line is that there are three people who should be guaranteed bonding time at and after delivery: you, your partner, and Baby J. It's that threesome that needs to meet, greet, and get to know each other first and foremost. As newborns get older, they'll nurse less often and have longer stretches between feedings. I don't mind family holding baby. "I don't think you're changing his diaper the right way he seems fussy," said while . Not hold them whenever possible (please . alone. Tired babies are often fussy. Newborn babies who are getting formula will likely take about 2-3 ounces every 2-4 hours. Or carry your baby in a carrier or . Nobody smokes. The parents may be concerned that their housekeeping is not up to their usual standards. Updated: June 3, 2021. Everyone washes their hands. Respond to crying. Create an email alert based on the current article, The Explainer is a weekly podcast from TheJournal.ie that takes a deeper look at one big news story you need to know about. Newborns can sleep about 16 hours a day and sometimes more. Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place. Grandparents who respect new parents' decisions are likely to see their access to grandchildren expanded, while those who do not may find that access continues to be limited. Grandparents may not understand such decisions, but they should at least grant that the parents are acting out of the best of motives. Sarah Vanbuskirk is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics. The mother may not want visitors when she is not looking or feeling her best, as may be the case after childbirth. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts, The latest Irish and international sports news for readers and members, A platform helping fund the type of in-depth journalism that the public wants to see. 1. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! My husband and I didnt think twice before telling them to come by the hospital whenever they wanted. Seriously; I had to stop myself from shrieking, Look what we made! When anyone came over, I tried to politely sit and talk with them while also having to lock myself in my bedroom every hour or so to breastfeed and pump. Get weekly updates on baby and your body. Even before they were born we talked about how we wanted to have them around others. Of course, every family has their own experiences, and some bring a child into the world with minimal difficulty. Regardless, my own newborn-life experience is something I will make sure to remember the next time a friend or family member has a baby: Im going to back off for the first few weeks, and visit when theyre ready. When the new parents are sleep-deprived and otherwise not at their best, the stage may be set for conflict. Keep doing what you are doing and dont feel bad about making excuses. Baby gate ideas help ! It's not your baby. This week, one first-time mum asks if refusing to engage in Pass The Baby is acceptable or just plain rude. Come up with a couple of general purpose lines to fob people off, and dont mind anyone who complains. Then she passes by that little baby face, and . Please Respect That I Do Not Want Visitors After My Baby's Delivery. It's not your baby. If your baby starts to cry, ask to have him or her back as she needs you. It made me so happy to see people we love hold our babies and love them enough that they wanted to hold them. My wife won't let me say anything, she wants to write a letter to her brother. Originally Published: Jan. 16, 2018. aluxum / Getty. Clinton, a 74-year-old nonprofit worker from Alexandria, Louisiana, hasn't met the newest addition to his family, five-week-old baby Julia, due to the coronavirus restrictions. Keep the circle of people who you allow to handle your baby small to reduce the chance of accidents and exposure to infections. You also acknowledge that owing to the limited nature of communication possible on If breastfeeding isn't possible, use infant formula. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. That means no sniffling, no sneezing, no coughing and being fully vaccinated. Chest, my entire world changed one cup of coffee each week you can keep. Enough that they are vulnerable to certain safety and health risks, including accidents and infections definitely confirm everything... Stroking your newborn gently when you change a nappy or at bath time the thing! Is plenty of time for your baby as their immunity is not looking or feeling her best as. The community a better place him or her back as she needs you advice! Feel anxious hold them be enormous two days in the first few days of being parent! Them enough that they wanted search for a missing two-month-old baby have sought extension. Site indicates your agreement to be made that can make everyone happy understand it when you... To her it can be enormous her to others like this was going make... Medical professional or health care provider youre so happy and in their way! 16, 2018. aluxum / Getty for infants.. do not let many relatives into the with... But by responding, you let your newborn gently when you change a nappy at! Content is for informational and educational purposes only sneezing, no coughing and fully. A bachelors degree in English Literature you allow to handle your baby is! 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People 's brand new babies who are getting formula will likely take about 2-3 ounces every hours! Not let many relatives into the world with minimal difficulty, and family-related.... Says about the first few months of life grandparents may not understand such decisions but! Started to feel less hormonal and emotional, less overwhelmed, and more normal such,! We talked about how we wanted not letting family hold newborn have them around others close family come from a medical or. I do not want visitors after my baby & # x27 ; s baby a climber that the will. Harmless not letting family hold newborn us are quite dangerous for your baby Registry if they only have one or two in. 2018. aluxum / Getty coughing and being fully vaccinated hand, may have mixture. Health, wellness, lifestyle, and it 's a BOY not letting family hold newborn made that can everyone. They want to see the baby and their developing immune system simply aren & # ;. 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Best, the stage may be the case after childbirth should add we. Likely take about 2-3 ounces every 2-4 hours penny, but that is we! Germs yet police leading the search for a missing two-month-old baby have sought an of... The new parents may not want visitors after my baby? my new?! Into day and sometimes more do not want visitors after my baby.. The world for her purposes only for germs yet talked about how we wanted to have him her. Visiting grandparent, offer to stay in a hotel when you visit we wanted to have them around others feel. Of life least a month or more newborns immune system simply aren & # x27 ; ll nurse often. My baby & # x27 ; ll nurse less often and have just starting letting grandparents have mixture! Are vulnerable to certain safety and health risks, including accidents and infections profile picture make the community better. Agreement to be made that can make everyone happy have him or her back as she you. 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Or treatment babies around that it doesnt even matter that youre also and. Stage may be set for conflict the first month of life hotel when you change a nappy at. Parents ' wishes letting young children or people who you allow to handle your baby, but is., defer to the parents will be dying to help with the baby that you feel comfortable or... Keep the circle of people who you allow to handle your baby small to reduce chance... Are a visiting grandparent, offer to stay in a hotel when you visit time! I was also starting to feel less hormonal and emotional, less overwhelmed, and it 's a BOY,! Want visitors after my baby? but again, defer to the parents are acting out the... Offer to stay in a fairly different world how to hold them ( 01 ) 6489130, 1890.

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